Funny English Pub names

March 7, 2017

Most common pub names

One common factor in humour is the unexpected. Names are labels; thus when we read a name and the meaning doesn't match the goods we see, it's the mismatch that triggers our smile.

Humorous Place Names

Once alerted by these examples, you are sure to find more amusing names of town, streets or villages near you.

  • Toad Suck, can be found in Arkansas.
  • Two Guns, famously in Arizona.
  • Great Snoring in Norfolk, England.
  • Lickey End near Bromsgrove, Worcestershire, England.
  • World's End can be found in Berkshire and again near Birmingham, England.
  • Ugley in Essex [There is also an Ugley Women's Institute, and even an Ugley Landfill site!]
  • There again, there is Purgatory in Maine.

Shop Names That Make Will and Guy Smile

Humour usually follows a pattern. Based on initial impression we think that something is true, however, when we see additional evidence, which shows that we were wrong, we laugh at the absurdity. Sometimes we smile as a defence mechanism to hide being caught out.

  • Driving school in Merseyside, England: called 'L Passo'.
  • 'Codfather' chippies, most notably:
    'The Codfather', Camps Bay, Cape Town, South Africa.
  • Restaurant in Belfast called: 'Thai Tanic'.
  • Teddy bear shop in Penge, England called: 'Bearly Trading'.
  • Mad Dog, Odell, Bedfordshire
  • Drunken Duck, Hawkshead, Cumbria
  • The Bleeding Wolf, Hale, Altrincham, Cheshire
  • The Cow and Snuffers, Llandaff, Cardiff, Wales
  • The Quiet Woman - York [The sign being a woman carrying her own severed head]
  • Nobody Inn - Doddiscombsleigh, Devon
  • The Cemetery in Rochdale, Lancashire.
  • The Three-Legged Mare [Known locally as The Wonky Donkey]
  • Cut & Face (Beauty salon)
  • Hair Force One (Hair salon)
  • Let's Face It (Dermal / facial shop)
  • Blow Jab (Boxing gym)
  • Fish Be With You (Aquatic pet store)
  • Income Taxi (Taxicab line)
  • Wash Your Problem (Laundry shop)

Amusing Names for Children

We are never sure whether the parents of these children had a mischievous streak, or else it was just a hilarious accident.

  • Hazel Nutt
  • Sean Head
  • Dwayne Pipe (Drain Pipe)
  • Bernd Onions
  • Artie Choke
  • Teresa Brown (Trees are brown)
  • NoSmo King*

* Nosmo King was the stage name of the 1920's actor H Vernon Watson.

Websites with Funny, But Clean Names

  1. - Naughty children!
  2. - We prefer Portugal.
  3. - No danger of an avalanche in England.
  4. - Catch a coach?

Will and Guy challenge you to send the URL of website which has a name that is funny, but without a hint of smut.

Funny Job and Name Combinations

Guy and Will have researched these job and name combinations which may make you smile.

  • Chorister, Westminster Choir College, Princeton, New Jersey: Justin Tune
  • Dentist, Roslyn Heights, New York: Dr. E. Z. Filler
  • The national Director of Surgery at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs in Washington, D.C. Dr Blades
  • Lloyds/TSB Bank Manager, Waterlooville, UK: Mr F. Knox
  • Bankers, Wallowa County, Oregon: Cheatham & Steele

Quirky Logic

The English language is made for humour. It has absorbed words from many other cultures, thus as scope for ambiguity, which is the mother of wit. English grammar has a looseness that German, Greek and Italian just don't tolerate, thus supplying more opportunities for misunderstanding and mirth.

  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
  • A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
  • Incidentally, there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
  • When you are incommunicado: you are without the means to communicate.
  • The Turkey is native, to America and is named for its resemblance to a bird native to Africa.
  • Madison Square Garden, USA is not square (nor is it a garden).

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